Broken

Where in the world have I been?

My computer is currently dead without a working power cord, so this message comes, once again, via my phone.

Life is insane with one more class for grad school left, a new(ish) job and closing up the work at an old job. It is crazy and fantastic.

But the brokenness of humanity weighs in me heavily…I am so acutely aware of my own brokenness but I don’t know how to do any mending. I pray, I study, I meditate on scripture but I feel so lost.

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Recently I listened to a sermon on forgiveness and was hit hard by the idea that we all sin out of brokenness so instead of hating those who hurt us (which I was doing at the time) we need to pray powerfully for them (which made me angry at the time). All I could pray at the time was for God to do big things in their life. I wasn’t really ready to pray for blessings to be showered upon them, but I knew prayer was the only way I’d get over the hurt and truly forgive.

Being on the opposite end of that situation (the hurtee, if you will) I gained a new perspective. We all are broken looking for healing. Sometimes even we don’t realize the depths of the intentions behind our actions, but I am beginning to notice there is much more than meets the eye. Even with the best intentions we can hurt or negatively effect others because, simply, we are all broken.

I don’t know how to express what I want to say. But as the hurtee I saw where my actions came from and realized those who had hurt me were likely in the same boat. My actions were not out of malicious or deceit but from my own pain and brokenness. It gave me sympathy for those who had hurt me. And, in an unfortunate way, gave me the grace to forgive…

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2 thoughts on “Broken

  1. Beautiful picture and sentiment.
    My laptop just died, in the middle of my last blog post! 😮 I finished it up on the family desktop. But I do most of my blogging from my phone recently anyway. And I needed to suck it up and buy a new computer anyway. Incentive… check!

    Human depravity is rather depressing. 😦 It’s been on my own mind, as well. I have never been as aware of my own brokeness as I am now. The last year has been so eye-opening for me. And it definitely does give me a better perspective, with more love and compassion and brokenheartedness for those who hurt me. There’s a pic/quote in one of my blogs that says:
    “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment, he needs help.” Thich Naht Hanh

    There is a few flaws there (some people, criminals, sociopaths, etc. really do need punishment!)… but I found it a helpful sentiment in dealing with loved ones who have indeed made me suffer.

    • Wow, that is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing! I agree, there are host that need punishment, but i wouldn’t say those who hurt me need punished. They need love! It’s so tough and backwards in my mind!

      Thank you so much for your response and sharing that quote!

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