Where in the world have I been?
My computer is currently dead without a working power cord, so this message comes, once again, via my phone.
Life is insane with one more class for grad school left, a new(ish) job and closing up the work at an old job. It is crazy and fantastic.
But the brokenness of humanity weighs in me heavily…I am so acutely aware of my own brokenness but I don’t know how to do any mending. I pray, I study, I meditate on scripture but I feel so lost.
Recently I listened to a sermon on forgiveness and was hit hard by the idea that we all sin out of brokenness so instead of hating those who hurt us (which I was doing at the time) we need to pray powerfully for them (which made me angry at the time). All I could pray at the time was for God to do big things in their life. I wasn’t really ready to pray for blessings to be showered upon them, but I knew prayer was the only way I’d get over the hurt and truly forgive.
Being on the opposite end of that situation (the hurtee, if you will) I gained a new perspective. We all are broken looking for healing. Sometimes even we don’t realize the depths of the intentions behind our actions, but I am beginning to notice there is much more than meets the eye. Even with the best intentions we can hurt or negatively effect others because, simply, we are all broken.
I don’t know how to express what I want to say. But as the hurtee I saw where my actions came from and realized those who had hurt me were likely in the same boat. My actions were not out of malicious or deceit but from my own pain and brokenness. It gave me sympathy for those who had hurt me. And, in an unfortunate way, gave me the grace to forgive…